From Daughter to Caregiver: A Guide for Beginning your Caregiving Journey
Taking on the role of a caregiver for your elderly loved one is a journey of love and adaptation that is both rewarding and challenging.
Whether you’re stepping into this role gradually or suddenly due to unforeseen circumstances, thoughtful planning, patience, (and a lot of love) can help you navigate the transition smoothly and ensure that your loved one receives the best care possible.
My Journey | When Mama, at 82 years old, informed me of her decision to move in with my family, I was overjoyed. Despite her age, she was remarkably active, independently managing her finances, medical care, and social life. I eagerly anticipated the benefits of having her close, not only for her companionship, delicious cooking, invaluable help caring for my youngest child; but also for the opportunity to reconnect after living so far apart for so many years.
While I expected that I would eventually take on a caregiving role, I envisioned this happening gradually over an extended period of time. However, life had other plans. Mama experienced a few unexpected and serious health crises, and my role as her caregiver quickly and significantly changed.
The abrupt transition to full time caregiving came with its share of challenges, yet the process was (relatively) smooth , thanks to some thoughtful planning and preparation.
Within months of her move,
Mama experienced unexpected and serious health crises, and my role as her caregiver quickly and significantly evolved.
Here are some tips based on my experience with my mother:
1. Educate Yourself
In full transparency, this tip was originally my sixth. As I reflected on my experience, I realized how essential having foundational knowledge was in the beginning of my caregiving journey. So, learn as much as you can about caregiving before you begin your journey. Understanding your loved one’s health conditions, learning effective caregiving techniques, and familiarizing yourself with available resources are crucial steps. Attend workshops, read books, articles, blogs, and seek advice from healthcare professionals to learn and enhance your caregiving skills to ensure you are thoroughly prepared for the journey ahead.
PROTIP: Organizations such as AARP has free online workshops available for caregivers and their elderly loved ones. You may also want to check out your state’s aging department as they have tons of helpful resources to help you begin and sustain your caregiving journey.
2. Assess the Needs of Your Loved One
Thoroughly assessing your elderly loved one’s needs is a MUST. This will take time as it involves understanding their physical, emotional, and social needs. If your loved one is able, involve them in this process, ask them questions, make observations and follow up with family, professionals and others that can provide the information you need. Here’s how you can start:
Medical Needs:
Compile a list of their medical providers, specialty, including if any treatment is ongoing or short-term.
Compile a list of their current health conditions, medications, doctor’s appointments, and treatment plans.
Get to know their health insurance plan, what is and isn’t covered based on their individual needs.
Consult with their healthcare professionals to understand their medical needs comprehensively.
If your loved one is moving away from their current providers, be sure to:
ask their current provider to give recommendations for new medical providers.
compile a list of medical providers in your area. Do your research!
get copies of their current medical records and arrange for new providers to get them as well.
PROTIP: Medical providers and health insurance companies will require your loved one to provide written authorization in order to provide information directly to you, based on laws governing protected health information.
Financial Resources and Budgeting Needs:
Determine if your loved one will be managing their own finances or whether this role will transition to you. If so, determine the legal documentation you will need for this transition. (It may be helpful to check in advance with their banking institutions regarding what they require).
List your loved one’s sources of income, debt, monthly expenses (current and anticipated), medical expenses (including those not covered by insurance).
Research additional sources of financial resources for which your loved one may be eligible (i.e., veteran’s benefits).
Ask about unexpected costs that your loved one has incurred previously.
Daily Living Activities: Know your loved one’s ability to perform daily activities such as bathing, dressing, eating, and mobility. Identifying areas where they need assistance will help you plan accordingly.
Emotional and Social Needs: Ask questions about their current social network. Know who they rely on for emotional support. Pay attention to their mental health and social interactions. If moving to a new community or state, ask how they plan or would like to sustain relationships. Ask them how they are feeling about the impending move, and pay attention to physical (i.e., body language) and emotional cues. Research senior centers and other senior resources that are available in the area.
PROTIP: Loneliness and depression are common among the elderly, so consideration must be given to how they will have regular social engagements and emotional support.
3. Create a Care Plan
Once you have a clear understanding of their needs, the next step is to create a detailed care plan. This plan should include:
Daily Routine: Establish a consistent daily routine that includes activities of daily living (ADLs), meal times, medication schedules, and leisure activities. Check out my blog Building a Routine to Nurture Stability and Independence for Seniors.
Medical Care: Outline a schedule for medical appointments (including transportation), medication administration, and any necessary medical treatments or therapies. Download my free Medical Folder Toolkit here.
Social and Emotional Care: Outline the plan for time with family, friends, church, community events. Get commitment from family, friends, church community to make sure they check in with your loved one regularly. Check out my blog, Connect to Thrive: Nurturing Social Well-Being in Seniors for more information on this topic.
Financial Planning and Budgeting: Develop a budget for your loved one. Include contingencies in case of unexpected costs. Consider costs of housing, transportation, caregivers, food, medication and medical expenses, dietary supplements, clothes/shoes, toiletries, entertainment, travel, etc. Review and adjust the budget as needs change.
Emergency Plan: Prepare for emergencies by having a list of emergency contacts, a readily accessible medical history, and a clear plan of action for different scenarios.
4. Organize Important Documents
Ensure that all important documents are organized and easily accessible.
Keep a separate file drawer, cabinet or box for your loved one’s documents. Invest in a safe or safety deposit box for documents that require more secure storage.
These documents include:
Identification Cards: Store identification documents based on access need. Make sure driver’s license, state identification cards, and passports are up to date (including an updated address if they moved).
Medical Records: Keep detailed records of medical history, medications, doctor’s notes, and treatment plans.
Legal Documents: Ensure you have the necessary legal documents such as power of attorney, living will, and healthcare proxy in place.
Financial Records: Organize financial documents, including bank statements, insurance policies, and any other relevant financial information.
Momentos: Your loved one may want to keep greeting cards, pictures, playbills, and any other nostalgic items.
5. Prepare Your Home
Modifying your home to make it safe and comfortable for your elderly loved one is crucial. Check out my blog, Tips for Creating a Safe and Comfortable Home for Your Elderly Loved Ones for some ideas on modifications to consider regarding accessibility, safety and comfort.
6. Build a Support Network
Caregiving can be demanding, so it’s important to have a support network. This network can include:
Family and Friends: Involve other family members and friends in the caregiving process. Share responsibilities and seek support when needed.
Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help such as hiring a home health aide, utilizing adult daycare services, or consulting with a geriatric care manager.
Support Groups: Join caregiver support groups where you can share experiences, gain insights, and receive emotional support from others in similar situations.
7. Take Care of Yourself
Lastly, remember to have a plan to take care of yourself and stick to it. Caregiving can be physically and emotionally exhausting, so prioritize self-care. Make time for your own health, hobbies, and relaxation. Seek respite care when needed to take breaks and recharge. Check out my other blog posts for more on self-care: Nurture the Nurturer: Tips for Family Caregivers on Balancing Self-Care with Caregiving, Care for the Caregiver: Recognizing and Managing Burnout, Serenity Stash: Creating your Personalized Coping Kit.
You are not alone in this journey, and there are numerous resources and support systems available to help you every step of the way
Becoming a caregiver for an elderly loved one is a significant responsibility. By assessing their needs, creating a detailed care plan, organizing important documents, preparing your home, building a support network, educating yourself, and taking care of your own well-being, you can provide the best possible care for your loved one. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are numerous resources and support systems available to help you every step of the way.
